Have you ever stopped to think about what you would want people to remember about you after you are gone?
It is not necessarily an easy question to answer. We tend to think of our lives in terms of what we have achieved, the places we have been and the things we have owned. But when people gather to remember someone who has died, it is rarely those things that matter most.
Instead, they talk about the person’s character. The things they said. The way they made people laugh. Their kindness, generosity, stubbornness or sense of humour. They remember family traditions and seemingly ordinary moments that became treasured memories.
A funeral provides an opportunity to collate those memories and create a farewell that reflects the deceased.
Your Life Is More Than a Funeral Service
A funeral is an important occasion, but it represents only a small part of a person’s story. Every life contains thousands of experiences that cannot be captured in a formal ceremony.
For some people, family will be the most important part of their story. For others, it might be a career, a passion, or the ability to make other people feel welcome.
Thinking about what you would like remembered for can therefore be useful when considering how you would want your funeral or memorial service to feel.
There is no single right answer.
The Small Things Often Become the Most Important
When someone dies, it is often the small memories that people find themselves returning to. A particular phrase they used, the meals they cooked, the music they loved, and so on. These details may seem insignificant, but become precious after their death.
This is one reason personalised funerals and celebrations of life have become increasingly popular. Family Funeral Services recognises that every family is different, and we assist with personal touches that help make for a memorable send-off.
What Would You Want People to Say About You?
Imagine that your family and friends are gathered together after your death and someone is asked to stand up and talk about you.
What would you hope they would say?
Thinking about this while you are still able can be surprisingly valuable. It can encourage you to consider how you want to be remembered, and what matters most to you now.
Your Funeral Can Reflect Your Personality
There is no requirement for every funeral to look or feel the same. Some people prefer a traditional religious ceremony. Others may want a simple service with close family and friends. Your choice might also reflect your cultural or religious traditions.
Family Funeral Services works with families from numerous backgrounds and can help incorporate important customs and practices into a funeral service. The important thing is that the farewell feels appropriate for the person being remembered.
Think About the Stories You Want to Leave Behind
One of the best ways to think about your own funeral is to think about the stories you would like your family to tell.
- What experiences have shaped your life?
- Which achievements make you proud?
- Who are the people who have mattered most to you?
- What places hold special memories?
- What music, books, films, hobbies or interests have been important?
- What traditions would you like your family to continue?
These questions can help you identify details that make your eventual farewell personal and meaningful.
Don’t Leave Your Wishes as a Mystery
When someone dies without having discussed their preferences, relatives can be left trying to make difficult decisions while they are grieving.
Should there be a burial or cremation? Should the service be religious or secular? What music would they have chosen? These may appear to be straightforward questions, but they can become difficult when nobody knows the answers and talking about your wishes beforehand can remove the uncertainty.
Family Funeral Services offers pre-planning services so people can document their preferences in advance. This includes choices concerning burial or cremation, music and other personal details. Pre-planning does not mean that you have to make every decision about your future today. It simply gives your family a clearer understanding of what matters to you.
Start the Conversation
Talking about your own funeral can feel uncomfortable. Many people naturally avoid conversations about death because they associate them with sadness or fear. But discussing your wishes does not have to be a gloomy conversation. It can actually become an opportunity to talk about your life.
You might tell your family about a song that reminds you of your younger years. You might explain why a particular place is important to you. You might share photographs or stories they have never heard before.
In doing so, you are not simply planning a funeral. You are sharing a part of yourself. And that may be one of the most valuable things you can leave behind.
What Do You Want Your Legacy to Be?
If you want to be remembered as someone who valued family, perhaps now is the time to spend more time with them. If you want to be remembered for your kindness, look for opportunities to help others. If adventure is important to you, perhaps there are still places you would like to visit.
None of us can control exactly how we will be remembered. But we can influence the memories we create. A meaningful funeral can bring those memories together, giving family and friends an opportunity to share stories, express their love and say goodbye.
Planning a Farewell That Reflects You
Pre-planning lets you consider choices carefully. It can also give your family reassurance that they will not have to guess what you would have wanted.
If you would like to discuss how you wish to be remembered, then our team of professionals will be more than happy to listen. With our experience and understanding, we can ensure people remember you as you hope.